A Poem: Who I Am

Who I was,
I no longer am;
I have changed.
Who I am,
I will no longer be;
I am changing;
To become,
I hope,
More like Jesus;
For that is who
I want to be!
I am forever changing.

He does not.
Jesus was,
And is,
And forever will be,
The same;
Yesterday,
Today,
And tomorrow!
Perfect in every way,
Without fault.
Loving me always;
No matter how I change.

A Prayer: Who You Are

Lord, I come into your presence
Centering myself
In who you are,
In who I am.
You are the Creator and Sustainer
Of all there is or ever will be.
You are my Lord.
I am your child,
Made in your image,
Called to reflect you.
I am your servant,
Trying to love you
Through my obedience;
Which is so sporadic
And weak.
Father please forgive me
When I fall short of
Who and what you desire.
Empower me to live
As your obedient child.

A Passage: For Reflection:

But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord-who is the Spirit-makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.
-- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 NLT

I try stacking the pieces of my life,
In piles,
Sorted by categories
I have made;
Each carefully named,
Chosen,
Decided upon,
By my personal algorithm.

Day after day,
I meticulously,
Place the pieces
Exactly where I want them,
Believing they will never move,
Unless I move them.

Life doesn’t work that way!
It is not an organized affair!
It is tangled yarn,
Pulled and torn,
Rolled and worn;
Until untangling becomes
A giant game of Jenga®
Waiting to lean against nothing,
And crash.

A Poem: The Stones in My Pocket

The stones in my pocket
Weigh me down
Walking through this life.
I try taking them out;

Throwing them in some dark river
In the land of forgetting;
Hoping they sink forever
Into the mud of nonexistence.

Somehow they always return,
Weighing me down,
Wearing me down,
Wondering me down.

Then I realize!
They have not returned!
These are new stones
I picked up yesterday!

I empty my pockets again;
Hoping my journey
Might be lighter;
Might be easier;

As I pick up one more stone,
I never intended to collect,
Dropping it in
My never-empty pocket.

A Prayer: Let Me Reveal

Help me, O Lord, this day to reveal to you the ugliness in my soul,
even though you already know it.
Help me turn to you with my feelings of anger and frustration,
for you always hear me.
Help me to rely upon your presence and power
to live the way you desire.
Thank you for your patience with me.
Thank you for your faithfulness to me.
Never giving up,

A Passage: For Reflection:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
-- Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

I am a fast eater! I grew up in a home with six children. If you didn’t eat fast, you didn’t get seconds. Well, that is my excuse anyway. But all kidding aside, I do eat fast. My wife says she wonders if I even really taste what I am eating because I eat so quickly.

I also talk fast. I walk fast. I make decisions fast. Everything I do, I do with urgency. Even when I am in no particular hurry, I am still moving fast. That is just my personality. That is how I am wired. Lately, however, I have begun to ask myself. “What am I missing by going through life at such a fast pace?

I have come to realize that a fast-paced life can outpace my ability to experience joy!

Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast; you also miss the sense of where you are going and why. - Eddie Cantor

We can either enjoy life or endure it. It all depends on our perspective and our attitude. As the trite saying goes, we can begin each day by saying, “Good Lord, it’s morning!” or “Good morning, Lord!”

As we open our eyes each morning, how we anticipate the coming day shapes the entire day. Our approach can be that life is harsh and toilsome (the meaning of the word “dure”) and that we just need to trudge through without giving in or giving up. Or, we can look at each day through the lens of delight and the expectation of joy.

Perspective is everything! How we fundamentally view life impacts every day we live. However, with the pace of life today, even if we desire to live with joy, we may be moving too fast that we miss the very joy we seek.

Enjoy basically means to be “in joy.” To sit in it, to dwell in it, to have it all around us. We live “in” a house or an apartment. It surrounds us; we are in its midst. In order to leave our place of dwelling, we must go outside of it.

We can view joy in the same way. When we live in joy (enjoy), it surrounds us. We are consumed by it. But what exactly is joy?

Joy goes beyond happiness. Joy transcends circumstances. Joy is not an emotion. It is an interior state of being. In the Greek of the New Testament, the word translated as joy is chara. It conveys a deep, inner contentment grounded in the presence of God. It is a result of knowing, loving, and trusting God and is rooted in his unchanging character. It is both above and beyond our circumstances. In the midst of pain, disappointment, sickness, turmoil, and all the other junk life throws at us, we can still live in joy. We can still enjoy life.

Let me give you a picture that helps explain how this can happen. Suppose you are in your house and as you walk across your bedroom, you stub your toe. You yell out in pain. It hurts terribly. Maybe you even broke your toe! But you are still in your house. You haven’t left.

When we live in joy (enjoy life) and experience the trials and troubles of life, we do not have to leave our dwelling place of joy. We can still dwell (abide) in Christ - the source of our joy.

If joy is interior and centered in the presence of God, a faster pace of life presents the danger of “outrunning” God’s blessings. We can never literally outrun God, for he is everywhere (omnipresence) and infinite, and we are not.

However, we can “outrun” what God desires to do in and with our lives - including producing joy.

In Galatians 5:22, joy is described as a fruit of the Spirit. This means that we cannot create it ourselves. It can only be produced in our lives by the action of God’s Holy Spirit.

We are commanded in 1 Thessalonians 5:19 not to quench or stifle the Spirit. We cannot manufacture the fruit of the Spirit, but we can stifle the working of God’s Spirit in our lives. One way we can do that is by moving so fast that we do not recognize how the Spirit is attempting to work in us.

We can hinder the creation of joy in our lives by always being in a hurry!

We can run right past the joy that God is trying to bless us with without even recognizing how he wants to bless and shape us into the image of Jesus.

Jesus walked in perfect joy while on earth, and he promised us that joy!

John 15:11 NLT - I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!

The question is, “Are you going through life so fast that you miss when God is trying to create joy in your life?”

How often do you slow down to just be with God? I am not talking about a morning devotion of reading God’s Word, a devotional book, or even praying through a prayer list.

I am talking about slowing down to just sit in the presence of God - to listen to him. To let his presence overwhelm you. To hear his soft whisper speak into your spirit. To let Jesus give you the joy he promised.

Reflect back on the last few days. What is something you probably missed enjoying because you were moving too fast? Think about how you could slow down to enjoy more of life.

Think about how God wants to give you deep, indwelling joy that surpasses anything that you are going through or have gone through. Think of how and when you can slow down so God can fill you with joy.

Then, commit to slowing down to enjoy God and how he blesses your life!

A Poem: Where Is The Path?

How can we know the path,
Unless we know where we are going?
How can we walk into tomorrow,
Unless we know which way to step?
Where we end up
Depends on which direction we go.
Where our future leads depends
Upon which way we look.
Where is the path
That leads us onward,
That leads us into tomorrow
That shows us our road less traveled,
That moves us from present to future,
From here to there?
To where?

A Prayer: Following God’s Will

My Lord God… the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
— Thomas Merton, Thought in Solitude

A Scripture: For Reflection

…and whenever you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear this command behind you: “This is the way. Walk in it.” — Isaiah 30:21 CSB

A Poem: Truth

It is hard to accept
What I don’t like,
What I disagree with,
What is offensive,
What is defensive,
What is too sensitive;

Even when it is true!

But truth stands above,
Truth shines through
Without any bias;
Truth does not distort,
Truth does not contort,
Truth only reports

What is!

A Prayer:

Lord, help me to seek righteousness,
For all righteousness comes from you;
Give me the desire to seek
All that is right,
All that is just,
All that is honorable,
All that is lovely,
All that is pure,
All that is holy,
All that is true,
Give me the courage
To say “yes” to all that is true;
For you, Lord, are in all
That is true.

A Passage: For Reflection

“Lord,” Thomas said, “we don’t know where you’re going. How can we know the way?”
Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will also know my Father. From now on you do know him and have seen him.”
-- John 14:5-7 CSB

A Poem: Living This Day

Lord, I will never relive this day.
I will never again see
This sunrise,
This sunset,
The clock showing
The hours of today.
Father, help me to live this day
Pleasing you;
Praising you,
Thanking you;
Help me see each moment
As opportunity,
To reach out my hand for you to hold,
To follow the path you unfold,
To listen to your voice,
To celebrate and rejoice,
That I am loved,
By you.

A Prayer: Entrusting To You This Day

Here I am, Abba, your Beloved.
By the Father - a humble servant,
By the Son - a follower of Jesus,
By the Spirit - a citizen of your kingdom.
I hereby entrust to you this day
My thoughts,
My word,
My actions,
To be lived in your power,
For your glory.
Amen.

A Passage: For Reflection

O LORD, hear me as I pray; 
pay attention to my groaning. 
Listen to my cry for help, 
my King and my God, 
for I pray to no one but you. 
Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. 
Each morning I bring my requests 
to you and wait expectantly.
-- Psalm 5:1-3 NLT

A Poem: What Can Anyone Give You?

What can anyone give you,
That is greater than
Who you really are?
Living your true self,
Made in God’s image,
Is the ultimate gift.
What can you do
That is greater than that?

A Prayer:

Oh, gracious and loving God,
Creator of my soul,
Who made me in your image.
As I live this day in your presence,
Recreate in me your likeness,
Of goodness,
Of truth,
Of beauty,
Of love.
That I may not disappoint you
By falling short of the glory
For which you created me;

A Passage: For Reflection

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. …So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. — Genesis 1:26-27

Sometimes I feel as if I am traveling on one of the bullet trains in Europe or Asia as I go through life. The fastest commercial train is the Shanghai Maglev in Shanghai, China. It reaches a speed of 286 mph as it travels from Shanghai’s Pudong International Airport to the city outskirts. I know that my life is not moving that fast, but it seems as if things in the world are changing so quickly that I can’t keep up. Up until 1900, human knowledge doubled roughly every 100 years. By 1945, it was doubling every 25 years. Today, on average, it doubles every 12 to 13 months.[1] Does that make you a little dizzy? It does me!

Well, I’ve got good news! The Earth is still rotating at 1037 mph and completes its rotation in 23 hours, 56 minutes, and 4 seconds. Just like it has since God created it. Our society runs on nanosecond time, but we still take a breath every 15 to 20 seconds and our hearts still beat only 60 to 100 times every minute.

The problem is that we are carried in the wake of our fast-paced world and begin to expect our souls to keep up.

The Deceit of a Nanosecond Soul

Here’s the quiet lie of our fast-paced world: If everything else can be instant, why can’t my spiritual growth be that way? Why can’t my spiritual growth be instantaneous? Why can’t I be over this grief already? Why haven’t I mastered patience yet?

Our souls were never designed to change at nanosecond speed. And when spiritual growth doesn’t arrive quickly, we assume something is broken — usually us.

But nothing about the Christian life has ever been portrayed as being instant. We have just been “googlized” and “AI’d” with the false assumption that everything should be as fast as typing a prompt, hitting enter, and getting an instantaneous answer.

Spiritual Formation Is Never Fast

The Apostle Paul describes spiritual growth with a phrase that goes against our instant-results culture:

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 3:18, NKJV)

Being transformed. Present tense with continual action.

This is what the historic Church has called spiritual formation: not information downloaded in an instant, but your inner spirit shaped over years by repeated exposure to God’s Word, time with him in prayer, and worship.

Dallas Willard put it plainly: …transformation of the inner life is not “hurried,” and any teaching that promises otherwise misunderstands both grace and the human soul.[^2]

Grace is fast. It saves in an instant. But grace is also slow - the slow re-forming of a life into Christlikeness.

Becoming more like Jesus requires that we spend time with him.

Think of his original disciples. They were with him twenty-four/seven.

Practicing Slowness in a Nanosecond World

How do we slow down to allow Christ to form you in his image?

1. Practice mini-sabbaths throughout the day. Slowing down for even five unhurried minutes several times each day - to pray, worship, and focus on God acts like compound interest in your spiritual formation.

2. Measure your spiritual growth in seasons, not days. Ask who you were a year ago, not who you were this morning. We all have bad days!

3. Let waiting do its work. When answers don’t come instantly, resist the urge to manufacture speed. Waiting is often the very mechanism God uses to shape us.

4. Use proven spiritual disciplines. Reading God’s word, prayer, silence, solitude, fasting, and lectio divina are ancient “technologies for a soul” that move us into the slow lane of spiritual formation.

A Slow Hope

The world will keep accelerating. Computer chips will get faster. WIFI will get quicker. Data and knowledge will keep doubling. But your hope was never meant to keep pace with any of that.

Your hope is anchored in a sovereign God who has always worked above and beyond time. He is patient, faithful, and utterly unhurried by our standards.

“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you…” (2 Peter 3:9 NIV)

Slow is not the absence of God’s work in shaping your life. Slow is His work — quietly shaping and forming you one ordinary day at a time. The challenge is to walk at his pace and not to run ahead of him.

[1]: https://source.cognia.org/issue-article/defining-learner-success-digital-age/
[2]: Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart: Putting On the Character of Christ (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2002).

A Poem: Finished

Hiding in the reality
Of the shouting;
Said so loudly,
It can’t be missed!
Said so softly,
It is easy to dismiss;
Said so distinctly,
Said so directly,
Said so deeply,
It echos from
Past to future,
Future to past;
Wooing,
Warning,
Weeping,
Waiting,
For us to agree,
For us to accept,
For us to live,
For us to declare,
For us to shout
Into the darkest night
“It is finished!”

A Prayer: Help Me Live

Lord, you said that it was finished!
As you took your last breath,
You overcame evil and death,
You ransomed me from the Evil One,
You paid the penalty for my sin.
Help me live those truths today!
Help me move above my troubles,
My trials, my temptations.
Help me move beyond the cross
Into the power of the resurrection,
And the hope of eternity with you.

A Passage: For Reflection

When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished.”
Then bowing his head, he gave up his spirit.
— John 19:30 CSB

A Poem: Knocking

Lord,
How often do we stand
At Your door and knock,
Hoping that you will not answer?
We want to see your face,
But we are frightened.
Like little children we knock,
And then run away.
What are we afraid of?
Your majesty?
Your holiness?
Your wrath?
Or are we really afraid of ourselves?
Standing in your doorway…
Ragged
Dirty
Unworthy.
Help us to knock and wait, Lord.
Help us to wait until you appear;
Until you say,
“Come in, just as you are

A Prayer: Encircle Me

Encircle me, O Lord,
Keep faith within,
Keep doubt without.
Encircle me, O Lord,
Keep hope within,
Keep despair without.
Encircle me, O Lord,
Keep peace within,
Keep anxiety without.
Encircle me, O Lord,
Keep love within,
Keep fear without.

-- Based on the Celtic tradition of prayer

A Passage: For Reflection

So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you.
Seek, and you will find.
Knock, and the door will be opened to you. -- Luke 11:9 CSB

Words walk upon the porous page,
From a plain poet’s heart well wrought;
A little-known and silly sage;
Caring not if he should or ought.
Insolent indelible ink,
Which pours forth my secret soul,
With words that stand upon the brink
Of unwritten lines yet to know.
Each verse born with labor of love;
As I search for long elusive line;
Magical words descend from above.
Such marvelous muses are mine?
What soft and eager eye shall see?
Or what heart touched by the sound,
Of this poor poet’s right to be;
Even after he’s long in the ground?
I write not for exalted accolades,
Or applause from a cheering crowd;
Unable to draw the silent shades,
A poet’s heart must speak aloud

A Poem: Assurance of Faith

Jesus said,
”My father is always working.”
Knowing
Where?
When?
How?
Evades our humanity.
Yet he is always there!
Mending hearts of brokenness,
Loving in depths of loneliness,
Protecting lives
In and through time,
Beyond and behind physicality;
An unseen reality,
A certain actuality.
Always!
How do we know?
How can we be sure?
Assurance of knowing,
When we do not know,
Is called faith.

A Prayer: Lord, I Need Your Assurance

Lord, I need your assurance today!
Assurance you are there,
Hearing this prayer.
Lord, I need your assurance today.
Assurance that you care about
Injustice against the helpless.
Lord, I need your assurance today.
Assurance that you care
About those hurting and in pain.
Lord, I need your assurance today.
Assurance that someday
You will make everything right.
Lord, I need your assurance today.
Assurance that you care,
About everything in my life.
Lord, I need your assurance today,
Assurance to show me my faith is real.
Lord, I believe,
Help my unbelief.

A Passage: For Reflection

“How long has this been happening to him?” Jesus asked his father. “From childhood,” he said. “And many times it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”

Jesus said to him, “’If you can’? Everything is possible for the one who believes.”

Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe; help my unbelief!”
--Mark 9:21-24 CSB

Every one of us comes into the world with basic needs. These needs fall into three basic areas: physical, emotional, and spiritual. You may remember from basic psychology Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs.[1]

In our modern, first-world existence, most of us have our physical needs met. However, many people spend their entire lives attempting to find and fulfill their spiritual and emotional needs. We are broken people who need repairing both spiritually and emotionally.

Augustine wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.”[2] Most of you reading this have settled your spiritual restlessness through a faith relationship with Jesus.

There is an overlap here, however. We really cannot be repaired emotionally until we are repaired spiritually. We cannot be completely repaired spiritually until we are repaired emotionally. Yes, we have salvation, but the emotional baggage we carry around keeps us from experiencing the full depth of that salvation. As an example, we know we are forgiven in Christ, but our feelings of unworthiness and guilt lead us to think we need to do more to be “completely” forgiven. Many Christians who have been forgiven and redeemed still struggle throughout their entire lives trying to find answers for their emotional needs.

These unmet emotional needs are like invisible cages that keep us from moving into freedom in Christ. They are the shackles that we carry around day after day. There are individual and personal cages that keep people emotionally trapped. However, there are four that are universal to everyone. Breaking free of these cages brings us hope. Below is not just what each cage is, but how, practically and biblically, we begin to break free of them.

Cage 1: Our Need for Acceptance

Rejection, whether from a parent, a spouse, or a friend, teaches us we need to perform to be loved. We learn to earn acceptance instead of believing we already have it. This cage causes us to become people-pleasers, who seek acceptance by trying to second-guess other people’s desires.

How to break free:

1. We are to receive our identity from God before we receive it from people. Scripture teaches we are made in God’s image[3] and adopted as His children through Christ. We receive that identity through God’s grace—not based on our performance.[4] Begin each day by naming one truth about who you are in Christ rather than what you did or failed to do.

2. When you are rejected or hurt by someone, take it to God in prayer, instead of grieving over it or pretending it didn’t affect you. Naming the hurt is the first step to letting God, rather than the hurt, define you.

3. Practice being known to safe people. Confide in someone you trust and let them see your real struggle. Acceptance is enhanced in community.

Reflection Question:

Whom am I trying to gain acceptance from?

Cage 2: Our Need for Love

Most of us grew up with love that was conditional, inconsistent, or possibly absent altogether. So we spend our lives chasing love. When we find someone who loves us, we are often never quite convinced it will last. This cage leaves us either desperate for affection or afraid to trust it when we experience it.

How to break free:

1. Focus on God’s love for you. Nothing in all creation can separate a believer from the love of God in Christ[5]. Burn that truth into your mind and return to it when you feel unloved. Let the truth of God’s word correct any feeling of being unloved.

2. Scripture shows that imperfect love creates fear[6]. Only God can give perfect love, and his perfect love expels our fear. When anxiety about a relationship rises, remember this truth. Consider what you are afraid will happen if you are not loved. Then, take those fears to God in prayer, knowing he will never stop loving you.

3. Practice receiving, not just giving, love. Many people are generous givers but poor receivers. Let a others serve you, compliment you, or care for you without rejecting it. Receiving human love well can help you receive God’s love.

Reflection Question:

How am I'm trying to earn someone’s love right now.

Cage 3: Our Need for Security

Our security is shaken by loss, betrayal, illness, financial hardship, and a variety of life’s challenges. Once our security is threatened, we often try to manufacture our own safety through such things as control, money, over-planning, or emotional walls. This cage keeps us fearful of anything we cannot manage.

How to break free:

1. Begin by being totally honest about what you are actually trusting for security right now: your job, money, a person, your own competence, etc.. Hold this up next to Scripture’s picture of God as our refuge and strength[7]. Repentance is often needed here, and shifting your trust back to God.

2. Practice small, deliberate acts of releasing control of things that don’t matter that much. This small step is a spiritual exercise in trusting God rather than your own understanding[8].

3. Building a list of remembrance can help focus on God’s provision. Keep a written list of specific times God has provided for or protected in your past, and refer to it when new fears arise.

Reflection Question:

What is my biggest fear right now?

Cage 4: Our Need for Hope

When we live in the reality of God’s acceptance, love, and security, we will naturally experience hope. Without hope... Well, all is hopeless. Hope is the assurance that God will keep his promises to love us always and never leave us.

How to break free:

1. We can anchor hope in God’s character rather than in our life circumstances. Scripture ties hope to the Spirit’s work in us, not to positive outcomes[9], which means hope can hold even while circumstances remain dire.

2. Scripture reminds us that God will never forsake us.[10] That means that God will always be there for you, keeping his promises. Always!!

3. Surround yourself with people who lean into hope. Isolation keeps despair alive; community disrupts it. Ask someone who is full of hope to be a prayer partner to walk through life with you.

Reflection Question:

How would I rate my hope right now?

If you are in a faith relationship with Jesus Christ, you are no longer condemned to be confined by the cages of seeking acceptance, love, security, and hope. You have been set free! And as John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

[1]Abraham H. Maslow, “A Theory of Human Motivation,” Psychological Review 50, no. 4 (1943): 370–396.
[2]Augustine, Confessions, trans. Henry Chadwick (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1991), Book I, Chapter 1.
[3]Genesis 1:27.
[4]Ephesians 1:5–6.
[5]Romans 8:38–39.
[6]1 John 4:18.
[7]Psalm 46:1.
[8]Proverbs 3:5–6.
[9]Romans 15:13.
[10]Hebrews 13:5.

Many of you know that I have a vagabond heart. I am always looking for the next trip, next trek, next move—the “next big thing.” As I get older, I am struggling with “settling down.” The desire is still strong but the body says this is getting tougher. I wrote this poem about my interior struggle.

The Sound of Settling

What is the sound of settling,
When you’re a vagabond?
Does it even exist?
Or just midnight mist,
Passing through
A road-weary brain.

Without warning.
Age creeps in,
Leaving you tired from
Constant moving;
But not wanting to stop.
The thought,
The thrill,
The wonder,
Is still there;
But bodies age,
When minds don’t.

What is the sound of settling,
When you’re a vagabond?
Knowing this is
The last move,
The last new place,
Now becoming old.
While wanting to see,
To be,
To experience
Something different,
Something new;
Knowing that being content
Means staying,
Sinking down roots,
Accepting sameness.
Yet, there is always
The call of gypsy horses
In the night.

A Poem: Letting Go

Always looking forward,
Toward tomorrow;
Holding tight to
My vision,
My plan,
My scheme.

The future is mine!
To mold into the image
Of what I want,
What I envision;
So, I hold tight
Not letting go of
Desires and dreams
Of what can be.

But the future is not mine!
It belongs to the Sovereign One!
Only he knows what,
Only he knows if,
Only he knows how,
Only he knows when.

So, I hold tight,
By letting go.

A Prayer: Help Me Let Go

Lord, this day help me
Let go of the design
For doing my will;
Help me lay aside
My pet projects,
My personal plans,
My desires.

Help me step into,
Your presence,
Your desires,
Your plan;
That I might do your will,
Not mine

A Passage: For Reflection

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.
— Proverbs 16:9 NIV

I wrote this poem the week that I turned 70. I never thought that I would live this long, but what a life I have been blessed with. I have no idea how much time I have left on this earth, but when I do leave, I plan on smiling into eternity!

At birth
The world
Was a blank canvas;
A palette,
Every color imaginable;
A brush,
Placed in my hand
To paint what could be.

At death,
A self-portrait,
Painted through decades
Of what was and is;
With permanent brush stokes
Highlighting how I lived.

In between.
A gypsy caravan
Across this beautiful world;
Stopping to paint
Breathtaking beauty of mountaintops,
Piercing pain of valleys,
Exhilaration of achievements,
Despondence in disappointments.
A tapestry of
Laughter, tears, trials, and triumphs;
A marvelous adventure
Lived with those I love.

Don’t Run Away From Difficult Conversations

Most of us hate having them, even when we know they’re necessary. And when we finally do have them, we often handle them poorly. I’m talking about hard conversations.

You know the ones—where we need to confront someone about their words or actions. Maybe it’s a teenage child, our spouse, a neighbor, or a friend. Whoever it is, it’s difficult for everyone involved.

I believe the hardest conversations are the ones where we disagree with the other person ideologically, politically, or spiritually.

Here are five common situations requiring difficult conversations (though there are many more):

• A child, relative, or friend who has just come out as homosexual

• A child, relative, or friend who says, “I don’t think I’m supposed to be my birth gender”

• A child or family member who has become estranged, and with whom you desperately want to reconnect

• A family member or close friend with opposite political views

• A family member or close friend who has left the church or is “deconstructing” their faith

Follow Jesus’ Model

So how do we navigate these discussions? While other people are obviously involved in the relationship, Jesus gave us a model showing that reconciliation should begin with us.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
— Matthew 5:23-24 NIV

Jesus’ words reveal at least three important truths:

1. Reconciliation is a priority, not optional
Jesus elevates peacemaking above worship itself. Some commentators summarize it as “reconciliation before worship, without rejecting worship”—meaning we resume worship after pursuing reconciliation.

2. We’re called to make the first move
Notice the text says “if you realize (remember) the other person has something against you.” Jesus calls us to take initiative—even when we’re unsure what we did to upset them. This is the opposite of saying, “I’ll address it if they come to me first.”

3. Relational damage impacts spiritual life
Jesus didn’t say, “Finish giving your offering, then go seek reconciliation.” He said, “Leave your gift and go!” Why? The most reasonable answer is that a broken relationship stunts our capacity to worship God.

Four Pillars for Having Difficult Conversations

How do we follow Jesus’ words and have conversations that bring hope for restored or revitalized relationships? We can build the conversations on these four pillars:

PILLAR 1: Provide a Safe Place

Before the conversation, communicate that you want to talk, but assure them it will be a safe space. Tell them you won’t accuse, belittle, criticize, or condemn them.

Then live it out. Make every effort to ensure it actually happens.

PILLAR 2: Set the Ground Rules Together

Don’t dictate rules—collaborate with those involved to create them. Say something like:

“I think it would be good to set some ground rules for our conversation so we both know what to expect. Here are my ideas. Do you have any to add?”

Then agree on the ground rules together.

Six essential ground rules for a difficult conversation:

• Use “I” statements - “I am...” “I feel...” “I am angry...”

• Avoid “you” or “they” statements - “You always...” “You never...” “They said...”

• No accusations or attacks on the other person(s)

• Do not belittle or condemn the other person’s views.

• Either person can request a break at any time.

• Don’t push for resolution in the conversation

PILLAR 3: Make Love the Center of The Conversation

Listen from a loving heart—not an emotional or belief-driven heart

• An emotional heart can cause you to say things that you may regret later—which won’t move the conversation forward.

• A belief heart leads with your convictions, conveying disagreement or disapproval that can create resistance.

Process in your heart

As you listen, resist any urge to disapprove or refute. Providing a safe place (Pillar 1) means giving them freedom to express their side.

This is incredibly hard! We want to respond and explain where and how we disagree. But a loving heart listens first.

When they are through talking, or when they ask you a question, respond out of love. Do not criticize. Do not condemn.

Instead:

• Let them know they have been heard.

• Let them know they are respected and valued.

• Let them know they are loved.

PILLAR 4: Expect Realistic Outcomes

Understand that the first goal is understanding, not resolution
Often (especially early in discussing sensitive matters), the main goal isn’t to resolve the issue—it’s simply to understand where the other person is coming from.

Remember that this is a process.
Discussing difficult matters takes time. Deep issues can rarely be solved in one conversation.

Stay alert to warning signs.
The discussion can quickly become an argument. If any of the first three pillars are violated, the whole conversation deteriorates and creates the potential for defensiveness and conflict.

The Power of Patience

The apostle Paul said we are to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). But he didn’t say we have to do it all in one conversation.

We will hopefully have the opportunity to speak truth with the person(s), but if they don’t feel valued, respected, and loved, their mind and heart won’t be open to hear it.

Our job is to:

• Be patient

• Listen

• Understand their viewpoint

• Love them

Once they feel loved, respected, and valued, we’ve earned the right to speak truth into their lives.

God is patient with us! As we are patient with others, there is hope. Difficult conversations take time and patience. But most of all, they require sensitivity to the Holy Spirit.

Remember: The goal of the early conversations isn’t to win an argument or change someone’s mind—it’s to build a bridge of love and understanding that makes future conversations apossible.

Hello, Hearts of Hope Community. I want to share with you a new feature I have added.

I write a lot of poetry! So far, I have composed 24 poems in 2026. That is almost a poem a week, which is my goal for the year. I currently have over 30 poems “in process.” These range from a couple of lines to the poem almost finished. Most of my poetry is Christian in nature. However, I do write poems that are not specifically Christian. Lately, I have been pondering how to share these poems and where they might live.

I recently discovered that Substack, where I post Monday Missives, has a feature called sections. You can create a section separate from your main publication, with its own place for writing to live and its own mailing list. So, I have created a new section titled “Poems Greg M Cole.”

In this section, I will be posting poems that will not appear in Monday Missives. They will be poems that are not generally Christian, but I hope still express the beauty and power of poetry. Sometimes, they will have an explanation of where or how the idea for the poem originated, but not always. Sometimes, it will be just a poem. The posting will be random, with no set schedule. However, the first poem will be coming your way this Saturday.

Because you are on Hearts of Hope email list and already receive my current posts, I have added you to this new poetry section mailing list. If for any reason you do not want to receive these poems in your inbox you can unsubscribe at any time. I hope you won’t unsubscribe, but realize that each of us are different with unique likes and dislikes.

On another note, I try to be responsive to suggestions concerning content. So please let me know if there is any area or subject that you would like for me to address.

Thank you so so much for being a faithful follower. May you be richly blessed by the Lord, as He gives you joy and hope!

A Poem: Life Is Music

Music begins with life itself.
Before our first breath, we sing;
With our heart-pulse in the womb.
Little children know this!
They dance before they can walk,
They sing before they can talk.
The music is sometimes silent,
But always loud enough,
If you will listen.
Sunrise symphonies,
Cloud concertos,
Songs on summer breezes.
Your breath humming softly,
Your eyes blinking in rhythm,
Your heart beating a tune.

Sing daily life’s song,
Thrill to its calling tune,
Dance to its melody,
Treasure its symphony,
Until death’s final crescendo!

A Prayer: Lord, Let Me Dance

Lord, let me dance into this day with joy!
Let me hear the eternal music placed in my soul.
Allow me to listen to your notes of grace and mercy,
Let me see where I sit
In this grand orchestra called life.
Let me feel the beat of your heart,
So I can move to its rhythm,
So I can be in tune with you this day.
Let me dance to your holy music,
Let me sing to you a new song,
Giving you praise and glory,
Along with the choir of angels.

A Passage: For Reflection

Sing a new song to the LORD; let the whole earth sing to the LORD.
Sing to the LORD, bless his name; proclaim his salvation from day to day.
Declare his glory among the nations, his wondrous works among all peoples.
-- Psalm 96:1-3 CSB