A Poem: Before You Speak

Before you speak,
Fear kills the thoughts,
Buried in your heart.
You wait for them to emerge,
But they never do.
They hide in the shadows
Of loneliness,
Of sorrow,
Of hurt;
Too personal to share,
Too raw to express.
They hang in the air,
Dangling their feet,
Just above our conversation
Waiting for courage
To step into the moment;
Waiting for opportunity,
Waiting for an opening,
That might be,
That could be;
But never is.
So, they leave
Through the quietness,
Beyond the silence,
Dying in their loneliness.

If only I was
Beyond my selfishness,
Beyond talking about me,
Beyond filling the space
With meaningless chatter.
If only I truly listened,
Your thoughts would
Emerge from the shadows,
And you would find freedom
To share.

A Prayer: Help Me Move Beyond

Father, this day help me
Move beyond my selfishness.
Help me
See beyond,
My needs and desires.
Help me
Center this day
Around you.
Help me
Listen to your heart;
That I might hear you,
That I might become more like you;
Help me
Listen to the hearts
Of those you bring into my path;
That I might reflect you;
That I might love them as you do.

A Passage: For Reflection

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.
— Galatians 6:2-3 NLT

I don’t know about you, but it is easy for me to “tune out” the present moment and take a trip to a faraway mental land. A land where I attempt to relive a past event or a land where I try to construct an unseen future. Always living in the present moment is difficult for me!

Running into the future or reliving the past are the real dangers in our lives? Dangers that threaten our hope and our security? This danger goes beyond a shaky economy. Inflation or the threat of an enemy country. The real danger each of us faces each and every day is our escaping our own “ought’s” and “what ifs.” They are dangerous because they try to steal our hope!

Even though we exist in the present, the current time and place, we often step into the past. We backtrack through our memory and dwell on what we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve done differently. We lament decisions we made or didn’t make. We rewind and reword in our minds what we said and should have said. We pull our past with us like a U-Haul trailer. Every time we look in the mirror, it is there—crammed full of our “ junk.”

Our brains constantly remind us of the mistakes we made. Sometimes we are fortunate to see the victories, the things we did correctly. But then our “ought’s” and “shoulds“ jump to the front of the line, yelling and screaming, “Remember me!” Like a two-year-old child throwing a tantrum, they do everything they can to get our attention. We try to push them away and forget about them. We try to focus on the present or on the positives of the past. We might be successful for a while, but they seem to always come back. We can’t seem to erase the thoughts of what could have or should have been.

Likewise, our “what ifs” also step in to haunt us. When we are not focusing on the past, we are speculating about the future. What if the economy crashes? What if I get diagnosed with cancer? What if I lose my job? What if my retirement investments tank? What if… What if…

We can actually get pretty creative with our “what if’s.” We can come up with some pretty wild scenarios. And that creativity seems to always lean toward the worse!

The main problem with these two enemies is that they remove us from real life. We do not live in the past or the future. We live in the now—the present moment. When our focus is on the past or the future, we miss the now!

The past is just that - the past. We do not have a time machine to go back and relive it. There are no “do-overs” in real life. There are indeed consequences of our past words and actions. We can sometimes make adjustments that correct or soften those consequences, but we cannot undo what has happened.

We also do not have a crystal ball that can tell us the future. We have no idea of what tomorrow will actually bring. The only guarantee we have is the present moment!

The guilt of our past and the worry about our future actually immobilize us in the present. They keep us from ever being fully engaged in the now. Our minds are always occupied with where we’ve been or where we are going.

So how do we overcome “ought’s” and “ifs?” How do we stay in the present moment? Here are four steps to take in defeating the enemy of “ought’s” and “what ifs.”

First, we must make a conscious commitment to live in the here and now. What is past cannot be relived! The future has not happened yet. Cognitively, we know this, but emotionally, we often believe that rehashing the past or speculating about the future will somehow enhance our lives. The first step is to consciously make a commitment not to go there.

Second, we need to recognize that our “ought’s” and “ifs” are actually fantasy worlds. Everything we think about them comes from our imagination, not reality. Yes, what did happen was real, but how we might have changed it is pure fantasy. We cannot go back in time and change what happened.. The future has not happened, and what we think might happen is speculation. It may or may not happen. Trying to predict what will happen in the future is futile.

Third, we must forgive ourselves for our past decisions and actions. The Apostle John tells us that, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” 1 John 1:9 CSB. If we truly believe John’s words that God forgives us, then we become presumptuous when we fail to forgive ourselves.

Fourth, we step into the hope of our relationship with God. Hope is the real key to living in the presence, for is actually the expectation of what is certain.

Let us hold firmly to the hope that we have confessed, because we can trust God to do what he promised. – Hebrews 10:23 NCV

God has given us so many wonderful promises. Those promises might be summed up in the Apostle Peter’s words: His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness” 2 Peter 1:3 CSB. One major promise for living life is hope.

Henri Nouwen shares that “hope frees us from the need to predict the future and allows us to live in the present, with the deep trust that God will never leave us alone.”1

Hope allows us to live in the present, because we know that God is in control. He holds us in his loving arms, no matter what has happened in the past or what will happen in the future.

Stepping into the fantasy land of our past “ought’s” or the future “what ifs” is so tempting and so easy. However, because of our hope in God we can rise above these enemies and be totally present in each moment. When we do, we enjoy a deeper sense of being and belonging. We enjoy the blessing of living in the present!

A Poem: Time

Time will slice:
Twenty four
In every day.

Time will entice,
Every step
Of the way.

Time won’t discriminate;
Everyone the same
Measured amount.

Time never waits,
No matter how
Much we shout.

I wish I had more;
Thirty six in each day
Would be simply sublime.

Still not enough,
To get everything done;
Even with infinite time.

A Prayer: Lord of All Time

Father God,
You are the Lord of each minute,
For you are the Maker of Time.
No mater how easy today might be,
You desire that I give you the glory,
No matter how hectic today is,
You desire that I seek your stability,
No matter how difficult today is,
You desire that I lean hard into you.
Maker of Time,
Make this day a day of realizing
Your presence,
Your purpose,
Your power,
That I might live
As your beloved child,
Held in your strong arms.

A Passage: For Reflection

Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk-not as unwise people but as wise - making the most of the time, because the days are evil.
— Ephesians 5:15-16 CSB

A Poem: My Heart

My heart aches!
From…
Hoping,
Hurting,
Watching,
Waiting,
Searching,
Seeking;
As all of creation
Groans and gropes
For re-creation to come.

Like the Velveteen Rabbit,
I have become real;
Tattered an torn,
Weary and worn.
Feeling the weight
Of a broken world;
That I can’t change,
That I can’t rearrange,
To do justice,
To love kindness,
To practice humility.

Meanwhile…
In His power,
In His presence.
I long for the new
Heaven and earth,
Waiting for His return!

A Prayer: Listen to My Heart

Father, listen the words of my heart,
That go beyond my mind.
I think I know what to pray,
But I do not.
I give to you what is going on
In my life,
In the lives of those I love,
In the world;
But they do not reach my heart.
I don’t know how to pray that deeply,
I don’t know how to voice the unvoicable.
So, I live in the promise of
Your Spirit knowing my heart,
Even more than I do,
Lifting up its depths to you.
Father, listen beyond my words
And hear my heart.

A Passage: For Reflection

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
- Micah 6:8 NIV

This is my 100th Monday Missive. Wow! Have I really written that many poems in two years? I have been looking at the open rates (how many times a specific post has been viewed) for everything I have posted over the last two years. Monday Missives have been by far the most popular posts. The other posts have traditionally been viewed only about two-thirds as many times.

In 1963, Bob Dylan wrote “The Times They Are-a-Changin’”. Indeed, the times are -a-changin,’ and Christ Formed is also going through a change. Don’t worry! Monday Missive will not change. There will still be a Poem, a Prayer, and a Passage most Mondays.

But starting later this week, there will be a new element called Christ-Forming Questions, or CFQ for short. Most devotional writings contain a passage of scripture, a short commentary or story, and a prayer. There is nothing wrong with them — except most tend to be somewhat shallow in actually helping form a person in Christ. In other words, they do not ask you to think very deeply. My hope is that CFQ will lead you to think deeply about how you are and can be formed more into the image of Christ. The format for the new Christ-Formed Questions will be:

• A Wednesday and Friday post based upon the scripture that I will be teaching the following Sunday in the Bible study class I teach.

• Each post will contain a passage of scripture and two to three deep and thought-provoking questions for you to consider.

• In the weeks I am not teaching, there will still be scripture passages with questions to consider.

I will also be posting longer articles on Medium, a very broad-based platform. On this platform, my posts will expand to include topics that are not specifically Christian in nature. I want to broaden the scope of my writing, and I think Medium is a better platform to do that. Since you are a subscriber to Christ Formed, you will be automatically signed up to my new site on Medium - gregmcole.online. Just like on Christ Formed, you will receive an email each time I post an article or poem. If you do not desire to follow me at gregmcole.online, you may unsubscribe at any time (it will not affect your Christ Formed subscription)

Now for Monday Missive #100!

A Poem: Ever Present

Ever present,
Everywhere,
God is with me;
Even when I don’t feel it.

Ever present,
Everywhere,
God goes before me,
Even when I can’t see it.

Ever present,
Everywhere,
God guides me,
Even when I am unaware.

Ever present,
Everywhere,
God protects me,
Even when I am careless.

Ever present,
Everywhere,
God has been,
My past,
My present,
My future;
Leading,
Guiding,
Protecting,
Even when I am unaware.

A Prayer: Lord, You Are Faithful

Father,
You have given me this day.
Another day of life.
Help me live it aware of
Your presence,
Your love,
Your grace,
Your power,
Your wisdom.

Help me to see
How you have
Guided me,
Protected me,
Gone before me,
Led me.

Help me live this day,
As a testimony
Of your faithfulness.

A Passage: For Reflection

“Am I a God who is only close at hand?” says the LORD. “No, I am far away at the same time. Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?” says the LORD.
— Jeremiah 23:23-24 NLT

What Does God Think?

It is a typical Sunday morning going to church. I am running a little late, so I push the fifty-five-mile-per-hour speed limit to sixty. Then I look over as I pass a car and realize it is a member of the Bible class I teach. What will she think about my speeding?

I walk into the church and am in a hurry to set up the room where I teach. One of the greeters greets me with a warm welcome (after all, that is what they are supposed to do). I am in a hurry, so I just nod my head and walk on by. Later, I reflect on the encounter and wonder if they thought I was rude.

It takes longer than usual to set up the class, which makes me late for the worship service. The pastor is giving the announcements as I walk down the aisle to where my wife is already seated. I am sure the pastor sees me. As I sit down, I silently say, “I wonder what he thinks about my coming in late.”

Most of us have this malady called, “What are people really thinking about me?” We can’t help it. We have been brought up that way - shaped by our parents, teachers, and other well-meaning adults. Growing up, we hear, “Don’t slouch, stand up straight.” “Speak up so people can hear you.” “Mind” your manners.” Or, the proverbial, “Be sure to wear clean underwear. You never know if you will get into an accident.”

All of these things boil down to one lesson. What people think of you matters! And it does. At least to a certain extent. We all want to be accepted and liked. We do not want others to think badly of us. However, when it comes to our involvement in church, considering what others think can actually become an idol.

Dallas Willard said, “If we honestly compared the amount of time in church spent thinking about what others think or might think with the amount of time spent thinking about what God is thinking, we would probably be shocked.”¹

The writer of Hebrews warns that we might be unaware that we are entertaining angels (Hebrews 13:2). For many of us, the danger of unknowingly worshiping idols may be an even greater danger. God should be primary in our lives! Period! Whatever happens on Sunday morning, or any other time, that results in our being more concerned about than our worship and praise of God is an idol. But are we aware that these things are idols?

Is thinking about others or what they think about us our focus while we are in church? Or is our focus on God and what he thinks of us?

Here are some reflection questions to consider.

• Is God pleased with my spiritual engagement this morning?

• Have I worshipped God in truth and spirit or for show?

• Have I asked God to help me block out any distractions to my engaging him?

• Am I bringing any unconfessed sin into worship or Bible study?

• If I have done something that might have been misunderstood or offended anyone, have I gone to that person and asked for their forgiveness?

Focusing our thoughts and emotions on what other people think distracts us from focusing on what God thinks.

What God thinks is really all that matters!

¹ Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1998), 202.

This week’s Monday Missive is a juxtaposition of faith. We can soar on our faith in the Lord (the poem) and we can waver in our faith at the same time (the prayer). But we are not alone in this paradox (the passage).

A Poem: Into Tomorrow

Defeat flees from expectancy bright;
Future’s hope brings eternal light;
Fear falls forever from dark sky;
Dreams rise eternal, never to die;
Tomorrow transcends today’s past;
Yesterday’s defeats no longer last;
Infinite future freely to give,
Another new dawn ready to live;
Vision calls sweet like a dove.
Follow your dream, follow your love.
Listen to the voice from above.

A Prayer: How Can I Ask Why?

Lord, how can I ask why,
When I don’t understand?
How can I ask how,
When there seems no way;
How can I ask when,
Knowing your timing is perfect.
Because You ask me to ask;
Because asking shows my faith
That you are there listening;
You are there responding;
You are there doing;
Even when I don’t know it,
Even when I don’t see it,
Even when I don’t comprehend it.
Lord, I believe.
Help my unbelief!

A Passage: For Reflection

But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.
Jesus said to him, “’If you can’? Everything is possible for the one who believes.”
Immediately the father of the boy cried out, “I do believe; help my unbelief!”
— Mark 9:22b-24 *CSB

A Poem: Crying Moon

Sometimes the moon cries;
But tears never come;
Only quiet sighs of forgotten stories,
Stories that live in the wind;
Stories heard only by those 
Willing to lean in,
To wait,
To listen.
Lean into that wind…
And listen;
Tune your ear
To the crying moon.
Hear the stories,
From long-ago travelers;
Learn to reach deep into life,
Creating new stories;
Stories only you can tell;
That the wind will whisper
To a crying moon.

A Prayer: Father, I Forget

Father, so often I forget.
Forget who you are.
Forget who I am in you.
Forget why I’m here.
Forget I’m not a solo act singing my own song.

In your mercy, pour your perspective over my mind 
like a bucket of water fresh from a spring.

Then I’ll remember who you are.
Remember who I am in you.
Remember why I’m here.
Remember I’m in your choir, singing your song.
— Grace Pouch

A Passage: For Reflection

So Joshua called together the twelve men he had chosen-one from each of the tribes of Israel. He told them, "Go into the middle of the Jordan, in front of the Ark of the LORD your God. Each of you must pick up one stone and carry it out on your shoulder-twelve stones in all, one for each of the twelve tribes of Israel. 

We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you can tell them, 'They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the LORD's Covenant went across.' These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever."
-- Joshua 4:4-7 NLT

A Poem: Winding Roads

Roads wind through my mind
Tracing center lines into the future,
Looking for lost memories
Of distant destinations
Along some unknown highway;
Only to find
Another curve to round,
Another hill to climb,
Another windmill to tilt.
Always moving
Along a endless road
Called tomorrow.

A Prayer: This Moment

My Lord and Christ,
enable me to place complete trust in you,
and so to live in the present moment.
For you are ever present in every moment.
Help me not to run ahead of you,
but to savor each moment as a gift from you.
Help me to be still, to soak up your presence.
And with every breath,
discover afresh the wonder
and greatness of your love.

A Passage of Scripture: For Reflection

You make known to me the path of life; 
you will fill me with joy in your presence, 
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
— Psalm 16:11 NIV

A Poem: Your Vision

I live in a land of indifference.
Hiding in the corners of my mind,
Hoping my thoughts are not real,
But they are.
I breathe unconcern,
Hiding in the safety
Of my own front porch,
Pretending not to hear.
Excusing it as necessity,
Rationalizing it as normality,
Wishing for some magical wand,
To ease this burning in my soul;
But I cannot erase Your voice
Calling deep within me,
To something beyond myself.
Touch me in the depths,
Where I breathe in and out
The desires of my life.
Give me a passion
To live the vision
You’ve custom-created for me.

A Prayer: Stir My Soul, Lord

Stir my soul, Lord;
Let me laugh when you laugh,
Let me cry when you cry,
Let my thoughts be your joy.
Stir my soul, Lord;
Let me look at my life,
And see it not as it is,
But as you want it to be.
Stir my soul, Lord;
Let your presence
Fall deep within me;
Let me know,
How you call me
Beyond this now
Into eternity.

A Passage: For Reflection

For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress;
I shall not be greatly shaken.
— Psalm 62:1-2 ESV

I have never met anyone who likes to wait! It seems we have a built-in aversion to waiting because we see it as unproductive and just plain wrong. Waiting is even harder in our instant-focused culture. We are bombarded with the message that faster is better. An example is Internet companies that promise faster and faster connections so that we can surf, stream, and socialize online at the fastest possible speeds. A recent devotional I read included the following thought about how we view waiting.

“We incorrectly assume that waiting must mean something somewhere is wrong and God’s will isn’t being accomplished.“– Active Word Daily Devotion

If we have to wait, we think something somewhere is wrong — the system is somehow broken. But this kind of thinking is proven wrong when we look at waiting in the Bible. Our sovereign, all-knowing God, who is above time, causes or allows us to go through times of waiting.

Jesus first coming was just at the right time

But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.
-- Galatians 4:4 NLT

The Israelites, and indeed the entire world, waited until the Father had determined that the time was right for Jesus to come as Emmanuel. For reasons beyond our understanding, God determined the exact “right time” for Jesus to be born. We can’t fully understand why the world had to wait so long, but when Jesus did come, it was “when the time was right” in God's eyes.

Jesus second coming will be at the right time!

“Look, I am coming soon, and my reward is with me to repay each person according to his work. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.
-- Revelation 22:12-13 CSB

The eschatological truth is that Jesus is coming back. It is a sure promise expressed in God’s Word. As we look at the state of the world today, we long for it to happen soon, but we have no idea when it will be. So, we wait until the time is again right for the Son to come again.

We are promised strength when we wait on the Lord

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
-- Isaiah 40:30-31 ESV

What then does it mean to wait for the Lord? How do we do it? Properly waiting for the Lord involves at least three things...

1. A proper perspective - Trusting God

God is in control. As the sovereign God of the universe, nothing is beyond his control. He either causes or allows everything to happen for a reason.

God is never surprised. Nothing that happens in our lives or the lives of those we love is ever a shock to God. He is all-knowing and, thus, knows everything that is going on in our lives.

In his all-knowing, all-powerful nature, he allows us to wait for good. It may not look like something good at the time, but we must trust God to know the reasons and dynamics of our waiting.

2. A proper focus - Keeping our eyes on God

Scientific evidence reveals what is called inattentional blindness. Research on this concept shows that individuals often fail to perceive unexpected objects when their attention is focused on a demanding task. This means it is almost impossible to focus on our situation, our waiting, and God at the same time.

If we are going to wait properly on God, we must take our eyes off the situation and focus on him.

3. A proper response - Allowing God to be God

Let’s do a quick “walk-through” of someone who did not allow God to be God and attempted to take matters into his own hands. God promises to make Abraham a “great nation” and would bless all families of the earth through him (Genesis 12:2-3). God clarifies that the heir who would be the beginning of the “great nation” will come from Abraham’s own offspring. He promised Abraham descendants as numerous as the stars (Genesis 15:4-6). However, Abraham got frustrated because his wife, Sarah, had not become pregnant, so he took matters into his own hands (Genesis 16:1-4). He had a son by his wife’s handmaid, which created a disastrous situation. What a mess Abraham created by not waiting on God. Later, God fulfills his promise, and Sarah becomes pregnant at the age of ninety (Genesis 17:17). If only Abraham had waited on God, the situation with Hagar and Ishmael would have never happened.

Waiting on God Shapes Us Spiritually

When we wait upon the Lord, he shapes us into becoming more like Jesus. Waiting deepens our faith. By focusing on him, trusting him, and not interfering with his timing by taking matters into our own hands, our faith grows because we believe that he will be with us as we walk through the waiting.

Waiting on God shapes our character

Peter tells us that…

And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.
-- 2 Peter 1:4-7 NLT

As we wait, God’s promises to be with us, to encourage us, to comfort us, and to protect us. Plus, God’s Holy Spirit works within us to develop Christlike character.

Waiting on God - An Eternal Perspective

“God sees your life from His eternal perspective. He will take whatever time is necessary to grow your character to match His assignment for you.” (”Experiencing God Day By Day” by Richard Blackaby)

Waiting is hard! But, as much as we can, we need to see things from God’s perspective, because…

In the waiting comes the shaping! We become more Christlike.

In the waiting comes the assurance. God said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). In our waiting, we see that promise fulfilled.

In the waiting comes the strength. As we wait upon the Lord, we are strengthened in our inner being. We are given the power to stand strong as we wait. We can then declare as the prophet Jeremiah did…

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
-- Lamentations 3:24 NIV

A Poem: Song of Forgiveness

O, faith that brought you to Him;
Faith and friends mingled;
Like blood and dirt in a wound
Faith as fresh as your lameness,
Suspended between two worlds.
Heaven and earth.
Let down on a sheet,
Symbolic of death’s garments;
A shroud of living, yet dying.
Unable to see His face
Until the words pierced.
Forgiven!
Forgiven!

Words of wonder, of joy.
Could this be true?
Free from guilt,
Free from sin,
Free from shame.
Knowing as He spoke,
That you were.

But then…
Faith became physical,
Your body made whole;
To walk seemed trivial;
To run seemed unimportant;
Knowing how,
By whom,
Brought the ultimate freedom!

– based on Mark 2:1-12 (the lame man lowered through the roof)

A Prayer: Let This Day

Jesus, let this day resound with praises to You.
May my heart be filled with rejoicing,
for you are indeed Emmanuel,
God-with me,
today and for ever.
Let me experience the fullness
Of your presence this day.
Let me
Hallelujah!

A Passage: For Reflection

Then he told John’s disciples, “Go back to John and tell him what you have seen and heard-the blind see, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor.”
— Luke 7:22 NLT

A Poem: Heavenly Braille

What heavenly braille
Has the Creator
Etched in your heart,
For you to read?
What love songs
Have you heard
Him singing
To your soul?
When has he walked by
And gently said,
“Follow me?”
When has he whispered
Your precious name?
How has he left
Fingerprints on your life?

When you did not notice?
Living in your tiny bubble,
You call life?
Or did you simply ignore
His soft, gentle voice?
Thinking there will be
Another day,
To say, “Yes.”

A Prayer: In the Darkness of this Moment

In the darkness of this moment,
I wait for you, Lord.
In the quietness of this hour,
I listen for your voice;
Wanting to hear your presence,
As real as my thoughts;
Wanting to hear your voice,
As real as my breath.
Speak to me, Father;
Reveal your heart,
That I might know
Who I am to be;
Reveal your mind,
That I might know
How I am to live.
In this darkness,
In this quietness,
Let me know
You are forever there.

A Passage: For Reflection

"But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel after those days," says the LORD. "I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.”
-- Jeremiah 31:33 NLT

Today is the Friday of Holy Week. This is the journey of Christ to the cross. This is the darkest day that brought brightness. This is the culmination of the light shining in the darkness, and the darkness not overcoming it (John 1:5). This is the day that Jesus died on the cross for us! The day that called each of us to obey his words…

“If anyone wants to follow after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. - Matthew 16:24 CSB

Jesus calls us to follow him, and following Jesus means following His steps down the path to the cross. This path is the one we must walk down each day—a path that ends in being drawn—drawn toward Christ or drawn toward the world. Walter Brueggemann shares the following in his wonderful Lenten devotions book, A Way other than Our Own.

Lent is the time we stand, each of us—liberal and conservative—just between the Lord of suffering love and the ruler of this world. We stand there pulled in both directions and sense the enormous ambiguity of our life, wishing to care and be generous but wanting also to be selfish and have it our own way. …We are all in this process. We are being drawn toward. We are being drawn away.

The Internal Struggle

What causes us to be drawn away from Jesus and toward the world? We have an internal compass called selfishness. If we are honest, every one of us is selfish! Oh, there are times when we are magnanimous, but deep inside, we really want our own way. In reality, we are like toddlers who never want to share our toys. This creates an inner tension, because we know that Jesus said we are to deny self.

The Apostle Paul understood this struggle intimately. In his letter to the Romans, he shared his struggle to live in obedience to Christ.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” - Romans 7:15-19

This is the human condition—we are caught between our desire to follow Christ and our natural inclination toward selfishness and self-gratification. We think that the only way to succeed and live the good life is to put ourselves first. Deny ourselves! That is mere stupidity. That makes no sense at all. Yet, Jesus said he came to give us life in its fullness if we follow him (John 10:10). His ways make little sense because they are counterintuitive and countercultural. To deny ourselves goes against our fallen nature in so many ways. Which means that, by our intellect and by society, we are naturally drawn toward the world, not toward Jesus.

The Paradox of Kingdom Values

If we put Jesus first and obey him, he calls us to take up our cross. But what does that mean? Jesus sets the example of denying self, not only by going to the cross, but also in what he taught. Consider his teaching on the Kingdom of God:

• The last shall be first

• The least shall be the greatest.

• Love and pray for your enemies

• Turn the other cheek

• Don’t store up treasures on earth

• Don’t worry

We think that these do not make logical and practical sense. So, it is easy to travel down the path of the world. It is easy to say to ourselves, “Jesus was just using a metaphor when he said that we are to deny ourselves and take up our crosses.” Yes, Jesus used metaphors, and this, in a way, is a mixed metaphor. The first part is real (not a metaphor) that directs the metaphorical second part.

The Reality of Self-Denial

Denying ourselves is not just a saying; it is the real life Jesus calls us to in our real world. How then do we live it? Denying ourselves begins with an attitude of complete obedience to Jesus. If we obey him and his teachings, then denying self naturally falls into place. That is because we can’t obey him without denying ourselves. He becomes first place in our lives. He “calls the shots.” We want to please him above all else.

If we put Jesus first and obey him, he calls us to take up our cross. But what does that mean? Think about where Jesus came from and what led him to die for our sins on the cross. He left the majesty of heaven and was able to go to the cross by denying himself. Consider his words in the Garden of Gethsemane as he prayed that he might not have to go to the cross.

He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” - Matthew 26:39 NLT.

The Essence of Self-Denial

“Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” That is the essence of denying self and taking up our cross. That is the path we must walk down. We don’t know where it leads. We do not know what it entails. We only know that we must deny ourselves like our Savior, and God will bring into our lives whatever it is he wants us to experience. Taking up our cross is an attitude of denying self and humbly submitting to God’s will.

When we embrace the cross, we embrace not only the joy of our salvation but also the obligation to deny ourselves for the glory of God. Jesus died for us! We need to live for him by denying self and living in obedience to him. In 1 Peter 2:21, we are reminded:

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.”

Living it Out

When we embrace the cross, we embrace not only the joy of our salvation but also the obligation to deny ourselves to God. Jesus died for us! We need to live for him by denying self and living in obedience to him. This is not a burden but a privilege—the privilege of being conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29) and of participating in his redemptive work in the world.

As we journey through Holy Week and beyond, may we remember that embracing the cross is embracing life itself—true, abundant, eternal life found only in Christ.

A Poem: Consider

Consider that the sun ever morning rises,
Consider seasons every year change,
Consider breathing inhales then exhales,
Consider life is born and then dies,
Consider that everything has a beginning;
Except God.
He exists forever and always,
In the present,
In the future,
In the past!
Beyond time;
With no beginning,
No birth,
No starting point,
Or place.
He exists forever
In eternity past.
He exists forever,
In eternity future.
Mystery upon mystery,
Beyond reason,
Beyond conceivability,
Beyond comprehension.
Beyond time,
Existing all in all,
In all dimensions.
Everywhere present.
He is God!

A Prayer: Beyond All

Lord, you are beyond…
All understanding
All comprehension
All reality
All reason
Because…
They are created
And contained in you.

Father, this day I recognize
That you are 
Incomprehensible,
Immeasurable,
Indescribable.
You are beyond all.
Yet  in your greatness
You choose to watch over
And care for me.

APassage: For Reflection

Am I a God who is only close at hand?" says the LORD. "No, I am far away at the same time. Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?" says the LORD.
— Jeremiah 23:23-24 NLT

A Poem: Naked

Like the first two,
We are naked
And afraid.
Not physically;
Just transparent,
See-through people
We are afraid,
Before God;
Knowing he knows everything,
Knowing he sees all.

Afraid of the world, too.
Of what will happen,
Of what might happen,
Of what will never happen.
Our fear barges in
Even in our faith,
Covering us with doubt.
Smothering us
In our imagination.
So, we try to hide,
From the world,
From God.
But…
We can’t,
We can’t!

Why do we hide?
When he says, 
Come!
I took your shame,
I took your guilt,
Let me love you,
Accept you,
Protect you.

But we keep on
Living in fear;
Guilty!
Ashamed!
Why?

A Prayer: Help Me This Day

Help me, O Lord, this day 
To reveal to you the ugliness in my soul,
for you already know it.
Help me move beyond guilt and shame,
remembering that you took them away.
Help me turn to you with my feelings of anger and frustration,
for you always hear me.
Help me to rely upon your presence and power
to live the way you desire.
Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me. 
Thank you for your faithfulness to me.
Never giving up.
Always present.
Even when I am not.
Amen.

A Passage: For Reflection

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-- Hebrews 12:1b-2 NIV 

A Poem: Unravel Me

Lord, 
Unravel me!
Unravel
My selfishness,
My unkindness,
My carelessness,
Knit my life
Into yours.


Lord, 
Untangle me!
Untangle
My messes,
My stresses,
My excesses;
Straighten my way
Along your path.

Lord,
Unknot me!
Untie
My faults,
My fears,
My failures;
Secure them in
Your everlasting love.

Lord, 
Unravel me,
Untangle me,
Unknot me.
Weave my life
Into a tapestry
Of your image.

A Prayer: Your Presence

Father, 
This day allow me
To hear your voice
Above all the clutter.
Unravel me from 
Things that don’t matter;
Unknot me from
Distracting worries;
Untangle me from the
The trap of busyness.
Let me settle
Into the joy of
Your presence.

A Passage: For Reflection

When Jesus had finished praying, he shouted, "Lazarus, come out!" The man who had been dead came out. His hands and feet were wrapped with strips of burial cloth, and a cloth covered his face. Jesus then told the people, "Untie him and let him go."
-- John 11:43-44 CEV

My wife and I started dating when we were both seventeen. Two young teenagers, who knew nothing about the world, soon found out we were madly in love. My wife must have really been drawn to me because I was totally self-absorbed during our first date. After going to our high school’s varsity basketball game, we were sitting in my parents’ car at the favorite teenage burger drive-in. My future wife noticed a scar on my hand and asked how I got it. I proceeded to tell her all about how impetuous and stupid I had been, which resulted in a deep cut that produced the scar. She seemed to really enjoy the story, so I went on to tell her about many other scars – even lifting my pant leg to show her a “gnarly” scar on my shin. I talked about my scars for about half an hour. I don’t remember how the subject changed, but I’m pretty sure my future wife changed it to talk about something besides my scars. But get this! She agreed to go out on a second date!

Scars Define Us

In certain ways, our scars define us. They are reminders of our wounds that have healed in some way. We all have scars – physical, emotional, and spiritual. Most of the time, we try to cover them up. We don’t want to be reminded of the circumstances and pain we went through that created them. We would like to forget that they ever happened.

However, scars actually help us grow. Scars allow us to both look back and to look ahead. A man named Jacob had a life full of scars. We don’t know much about his physical scars, but the Bible tells us of scars of deceit, favoritism, betrayal, and fear. He was even given a scar directly by God — the most important scar of all. In fact, that scar changed Jacob forever – changed his name and his entire future. God wounded him, leaving a legacy scar that impacted an entire people.

Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not defeat him, he struck Jacob’s hip socket as they wrestled and dislocated his hip. Then he said to Jacob, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

“What is your name?” the man asked. “Jacob,” he replied.

“Your name will no longer be Jacob,” he said. “It will be Israel because you have struggled with God and with men and have prevailed.”

Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.”

But he answered, “Why do you ask my name?” And he blessed him there.

Jacob then named the place Peniel, “For I have seen God face to face,” he said, “yet my life has been spared.”

The sun shone on him as he passed by Penuel, limping because of his hip.
-- Genesis 32:24-31 CSB

Scars Remind Us

With Jacob as our example, we can see that scars help us grow in four major ways.

1. Scars remind us of our resilience. A scar symbolizes that we have gone through something painful and harmful and have come out the other side. We have suffered the pain and have been healed in some way. We have been hurt, but we are still alive. We have been knocked down, but we’ve gotten back up. We have endured! We have lived out the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”

2. Scars remind us that we need healing. They are a reminder of what has happened to us, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Unfortunately, some people have wounds that have not yet healed. We can’t really call these scars, because they are still open wounds. They have not healed. Looking at our scars reminds us that the open wounds we still have or those we will experience in the future need to be healed. Our scars can be a reminder and motivator to move through a healing process with our open wounds – whatever they may be.

We sometimes need the help of others for healing to happen. We sometimes need medical personnel to help with physical healing. And we may also need help with the healing of our emotional and spiritual wounds. Of course, the Holy Spirit is the great healer. That is who we need to go to first in helping us heal. But God also uses other humans as “wound healers.” Pastors, counselors, and other mature Christ Followers who can walk with us and help us through our healing process. Most deep wounds need help with healing. If you currently have a deep, open emotional or spiritual wound, I encourage you to begin the healing process by asking the Lord to help you heal. But also, seek a trusted person to walk alongside you, offering support, encouragement, and advice.

3. Scars remind us that adversity helps us grow stronger. Going through adversity and pain is not pleasant. In fact, it is downright awful. However, when we walk “through the valley of the shadow of death” and emerge on the other side, we are stronger. Looking at our scars can help us negotiate our current pain and woundedness. We can look back through the lens of reflection and see how stronger we are now as a result of the hurt and pain we experienced. Scars remind us of that.

4. Scars remind us of what to avoid in the future. Scars also serve as warning signs. As we consider the source of our scars, we can know what to avoid in the future. Sometimes, adversity and pain cannot be avoided. Sometimes they blindside us. However, often they can be avoided. Scars help in that respect. They remind us of a journey that was, at best, unpleasant, and possibly downright awful—a journey to be avoided in the future.

Seeing Our Scars Through Eyes of Faith

We don’t like to look at scars. They are ugly. They often bring back the hurt, the pain, the disappointment, the betrayal. So, we avoid them. Yet, looking at our scars can help us look at the reality of life. Life is not fair! We are fallen people, living among other fallen people, in a fallen world. Yet, when we look at our scars through eyes of faith, we see the most important scars ever — the scars of our Savior.

Jesus told Thomas to “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!”(John 20:27 NLT). The scars of our Lord led Thomas to respond with “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28 NLT). Our personal scars help us grow, but the scars of Jesus let us believe. They are a reminder of how much he suffered on the cross because of his great love for us.

Scars help us see reality. The reality of our own lives – what has made us stronger because we endured and survived. The reality of a Savior who was willing to suffer not only physical pain, but humiliation and shame because he loves us so much.

Next time we notice one of our scars, let us think about the scars of Jesus. They are there because he loves us beyond anything we can understand or comprehend!

I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. — Ephesians 3:17a-19 CSB

A Poem: Scars

Ever present;
To remind us
Of stupidity,
Of sensibility,
Of ignorance,
Of innocence,
Of recklessness,
Of responsibility. 
Ever present;
Physically,
Emotionally,
Spiritually;
Forever
On our skin,
In our hearts,
In our spirit;
For us
To see,
To feel,
To know;
Our past,
Our resilience,
Our hope;
Our need
For healing;
For someone
To see
The pain 
Under them;
The hurt
Through them,
The care 
We needed,
The love 
We sought.

We touch them
And know,
We are stronger
Because they are there.

A Prayer: Lord, How Can I?

Lord, how can I ask why,
When I don’t understand?
How can I ask how,
When there seems no way;
How can I ask when,
Knowing your timing is perfect.
Because You ask me to ask;
Because asking shows my faith
That you are there listening;
You are there responding;
You are there doing;
Even when I don’t know it,
Even when I don’t see it,
Even when I don’t comprehend it.
Lord, I believe.
Help my unbelief!

A Passage: For Reflection

"How long has this been happening to him?" Jesus asked his father. "From childhood," he said. "And many times it has thrown him into fire or water to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." 

Jesus said to him, "'If you can'? Everything is possible for the one who believes." Immediately the father of the boy cried out, "I do believe; help my unbelief!"
— Mark 9:21-24 CSB

The title of this article may have surprised you. Why would I say to stop trying to be like Jesus? Notice the main operative word here. It is “trying.” We can never become Christlike by trying, because trying implies that we are using our own intellect and willpower. Becoming like Jesus is not about trying, it is about transformation. No matter how hard we “try” to become more like Jesus it just doesn’t work. Here is the typical process that most people follow in “trying” to be more like Jesus.

1. We hear a sermon, Bible lesson, or read a Bible passage on a specific aspect of living the Christian life.

2. We are convicted by Holy Spirit that we need to change.

3. We then “try” to change using our willpower to create the change.

Consider this a real-life example:

You hear a sermon on not worrying. The pastor uses the text from Matthew 6 and focuses on the following words of Jesus.

“Therefore I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -- Matthew 6:25,34 CSB

So, you say to yourself, “Jesus says not to worry. So, I am committing to try not to worry so much.” Notice again the operative word is “try.” You may become somewhat better at not worrying, but there won’t be much change by just trying

WHY? Worrying basically comes from fear, and because of our fallen nature, we are naturally fearful people. After Adam and Eve sinned, God walked through the Garden in the evening, but they hid from him.

“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. So the LORD God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” Noticing that they were not anywhere to be seen, God says, “Adam, where are you?” -- Genesis 3:8-9 CSB

The answer that Adam gives shows that one result of their sin was fear.

And he said, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” --Genesis 3:10 CSB

“I was afraid… so I hid. Because of the original sin of Adam and Eve, we have inherited a deep-down fear. Often, we cannot pinpoint why we are afraid, but it is always there. We are afraid of not being loved and accepted. We are afraid of not being financially stable (Jesus’ focus in Matthew 6 on not worrying). We are afraid our children might go astray. We are afraid of __________. You fill in the blank.

Because fear is a part of our sin nature and worry comes from fear, trying harder will not take away our worry! It is only by the power and action of Holy Spirit changing or “transforming” our inner being that we can begin not to worry.

Worry is just one example of how trying to be like Jesus just won’t work. In order to become more like Him we need a change in our interior being that has been bent by sin. Even though we have been redeemed, we still have a basic sin nature that plagues us. The Apostle Paul put it this way…

I have discovered this principle of life-that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. -- Romans 7:21,23 NLT

How we can change!

The only way that we can truly change is to allow Holy Spirit to change or transform us. But, “How can we allow Holy Spirit to transform us?” Does being faithful in church attendance, listening to sermons, attending Bible studies, and reading our Bible every day accomplish this? Not necessarily! These things are good, and we should do them. However, doing them can just become more information in our mind’s “spiritual library.”

Two things are needed if we are going to be transformed into becoming more like Jesus. The first is desire. We have to desire to be changed into the image of Christ. Second, is to provide time and space for Holy Spirit to work in our lives. This is where spiritual disciplines come in. Through positioning ourselves before God through Spiritual disciplines, we give Holy Spirit the opportunity to shape and form us – to transform us. There are a variety of spiritual disciplines that position us to be transformed. However, here are five foundational spiritual disciplines and a brief description of how each discipline might be used to make us more like Jesus. Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of spiritual disciplines. There may be other disciplines that we are led to practice that can be used by Holy Spirit to bring about our transformation.

• Worship (both individual and corporate)

  • Praising God for who he is brings us into the reality of his majesty, greatness, love, and grace

  • When we truly see him “high and lifted up,” we become like Isaiah and are aware of our sinfulness (Isaiah 6:1-8)

  • Being in the presence of God in worship allows Holy Spirit to show us what holiness truly looks like.

• Solitude & Silence

  • Sitting before God in solitude and silence allows Holy Spirit to speak to the depths of our spirit. It creates a time that is on God’s agenda, not ours.

  • It allows God to say whatever he wants to as we attentively listen.

• Devotional Bible reading

  • Most of our Bible reading is for information, not transformation. Saturate your Bible reading with a focus on what God is saying to you through the verses, not what you can learn.

  • Lectio Divina is an ancient way of engaging God’s word for transformation. Here is a brief overview.

    • Read

      Choose a short passage of scripture that you can slowly read. Be mindful of each word and phrase. This may mean reading the text multiple times and then identifying a word or short phrase that speaks to you in some manner.

    • Reflect

      Use the above passage or phrase to guide you in a time of reflection and self-examination. How does the passage apply to you and your circumstances? Invite God to speak and reveal what He desires to show to you through the text.

    • Respond

      Share your thoughts with God about your engagement with his Word. Be honest! Share whatever is on your mind, no matter how light or dark it may be.

    • Rest

      Sit in silence, resting in God’s presence, being open to what he may say to you. Receive His forgiveness, assurance, or whatever else He may have for you

• Prayer

  • Continually bring the area of Christlikeness in which you want Holy Spirit to transform you before God in prayer. Allow God to show you specific incidents where you have fallen short. Specifically ask him to empower you to change.

• Community

  • Lean into your faith community by sharing your victories and setbacks. Allow others to pray for you and encourage you.

This has only been a brief overview of how we can stop “trying” to become like Jesus and allow Holy Spirit to actually transform us more into the likeness of Christ. Look for upcoming articles that will dive deeper into our being transformed.